What Do You Do with The Mad That You Feel?

I am an incorrigible optimist and my faith in people’s innate goodness is quite firm. Having said that, there have been times when I have questioned it as well but then along comes something or someone and those wispy clouds of doubt are dispelled.

Like everyone else, COVID-19 outbreak has tested me severely. I have felt embittered and let down by people and questioned their right to be called human. Then there are people who go beyond their line of duty and do whatever they can.  These good Samaritans keep my faith afloat, sometimes barely so.

In trying times, I often lean on books and movies and the right ones just happen to find me. One such gem that I recently discovered was a 2019 movie, A Beautiful Day in The Neighbourhood. One of my favourites, Tom Hanks plays the role of Mr. Rogers who was a children’s TV show host. The movie is magical but what makes it special is that it’s based on a real person named Fred Rogers who was everything this movie portrays him as.

For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, I shall not spoil it for you and I hope that you watch it some day and tell me about it. Those who have watched would already be nodding their heads in agreement on how wonderful the movie was and what an unbelievable man Mr. Rogers was.

I however want to share some of his quotes that have helped me stay sane in these crazy times. There are many and the more you read on him the more inspired you feel. Here are five of his gems that make a lot of sense in today’s context:

  • Look for the helpers. You’ll always find people who are helping- I keep relying on this one more and more every time I witness a new low that we are touching as the ‘most evolved’ species on this planet.
  • There’s always something you can do with the mad you feel- I am sure all of us are dealing with negativity, anger and frustration. This gentle man tells us to find ways to vent it out in the least destructive manner possible. His suggestions- punch the dough or those piano keys real hard.
  • Children need to know that even when adults make plans, sometimes they don’t turn out as they hoped- Plans often go haywire but 2020 is just coming up with newer ways to maul them. This is a good opportunity for our kids to see how we deal with that. The impact would last much longer than any of our boring lectures could have achieved.
  • Sometimes, we have to ask for help. And that’s okay- In my two years of struggling as a writer, if I hadn’t asked for help, I would have drowned by now. Asking for help in the adult world is considered a sign of weakness and incompetence, something I refuse to acknowledge.
  • Thank you. For that perspective- As all of us try to outshout each other to prove that we are right. Here’s a reminder that we could do with some change of perspective.

There are many more from where these came from. Fred Rogers was a man who made kindness look tangible enough to be tried and now more than ever we need to introduce this man to ourselves and our children.

            Try answering the question that I have posed in my title. I would love to hear from you. Meanwhile, stay safe and have a peaceful weekend.

– Dr. Shivani Salil