LISTENING TO REPLY?
Imagine a scenario where you are sad, angry, hurt or happy and you are speaking with someone and suddenly that person interrupts in between and starts to speak about something unrelated. You want to vent something out and the other person is busy watching the mobile. You are sad or in pain and conveying your pain to the other person and he/she starts to describe his/her sorrow.
Sounds familiar? Most people are very good at giving unwarranted advice but not good listeners. Sometimes, people just want to be heard. They don’t need any advice, don’t need any sympathy, just need ears to hear them out. Most people are hesitant in confiding in others or speaking their heart out.
Just imagine, a child comes running and animatedly tries to describe something and the elders give a bored expression or simply ignore the child. Eventually, the child will stop communicating simple things with the elders. I have had women who have called me and poured their heart out or vented their frustrations in front of me. I didn’t have any solution to their problems, I didn’t have any advice. I realized they just wanted to be heard.
Everyone has problems in their life. When I vent out my problems, I would want to be heard. At that juncture, I don’t want any advice or want to know the other person’s woes.
Why is depression on the rise? Most people don’t have an outlet to open up, to be heard, not lectured and advised. Sadly, that’s not the case most of the times. Free advice is doled out by everyone. Communication doesn’t mean just speaking all the time, it also means that you need to hear out the other person’s perspective without being judgmental or preachy.
As I read somewhere and it is very true: “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”
Let’s reply a little lesser and try to be better listeners.
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