WELL BEHAVED, NOT DOCILE!

Most, not all, people from our generation or a generation before that remember being the kids who would be appreciated and called good kids only if they quietly obeyed their parents and elders, never argued or questioned, rarely expressed their opinion or asserted their choice.  The children who would want to live life on their terms and conditions would be labelled as disappointment, rebel, ill mannered, and so on.

Why do we have to raise docile children?  Children who are raised docile grow up as either docile adults or rebellious adults.  As a parent, I realize, know and acknowledge that I can be wrong, and I am wrong many a times.  I apologize, I rectify my mistakes, and understand that parenting is an ever-learning process.  Inculcate good manners and values in children, but don’t make them docile kids.  Never stop them from questioning, putting forth their opinions, or keeping their points, making mistakes and having a voice.  If an adult is wrong or is insulting the child, they need to stand up for themselves.  They can calmly and politely keep forth their points or simply stop interacting with that elder.  When the kids are younger, the parents need to stand up for their children.

Something which is ingrained since childhood takes time to change.  Docile and timid children grow up as adults who are not confident of confronting or challenging anyone.  They are scared to tell the other person that he/she is wrong and that he/she refuse to be treated badly.  Indian parents need to understand that good behaviour or manners necessarily doesn’t mean keeping quiet.  Kids should be taught that self-respect and standing up for oneself is equally important.  Respect is commanded and not demanded.

Lot of people, especially women in our generation, are suffering because they were taught that keeping quiet equates to being a good person. 

Teaching your kids good values and manners is very important, so is teaching to take care of their self-respect and confidence.

RITWIKA ROY MUTSUDDI

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