YES, THE CHILD NEEDS AN ANSWER!
How open are we about talking about few things we come across,
– do we move on
– do we wonder what to do (keep wondering)
– do we criticize what we observe?
Here’s one such learning as a Mother, I am sharing with you all.
A little story to this. My princess as she is gradually moving to the next level, she has been exploring externally and internally.
What is it?
She has been observing people around her and she can say that He is different and She is different.
And she loves being she, but she wants those body part growth which her mother and other girls and women have, also she says she is carrying a baby ? in her cute little tummy.
What did I do when she used to stuff a handkerchief or a piece of cloth in her t-shirt or a doll
Initially, I wanted to say Maaaaayaaaa ..
And I didn’t, because this is where I apply #NLP #SecondPositioning concepts and I paused to only observe.
But I hugged and sat next to her observing what she did. She smiled and said, “Amma I want a chest like you,” I laughed and told, off course you will too, may be you may have to grow little more tall like Amma and I paused.
She smiled back hugged me and said, Thanks Miyama. “I will wait!!”
And next question, what about small baby, pointing at my tummy
I said yes it’s from here you came out crying and then Amma hugged you tight.Again she smiled and said, “my baby will laugh and for now a doll is enough. Can I play this game Miyaamma?”I said, “Yes you can Maya”
I was surprised, that now these games have come down to an extent and she is into another stage of exploration. I will tell you what it is soon, because even am exploring that world along with her ?
Just wondering, What if I reacted in a different way, I am asking this question to myself and yes to Meera in me rather than pointing at you? She might have continued the exploration but it would have been behind the doors and may have started hiding her questions.
I may not be a perfect mother, because I too face few challenges in begetting a Princess, but here and there few little things like this happen giving a ray of hope and a silver lining about learning about my little Princess as an individual than being a part of me, because though she is part of me, she is her mind and her body!
Now I would like to conclude that, this is where the body shaming starts consciously or unconsciously.
Do you want to know why and how?
How much ever we try to be a parent, it so happens that what we learned during our childhood days at home and in the school peeks out some or the other way, relating to the aggressive way or reacting in a spur of the moment way of reaction, and this would be a mirror reflection in the future generation too. Again I would like to reiterate that, we cannot bring in 100% change in an individual’s behaviour (a desired one) with regards to the dealing or responding to a situation, at lest 50-60 % of foundation is laid in our childhood days and it travels generation after generation, so the major foot work needs to be done in this phase.
So here it is, whatever I shared is my experience and it may vary with that of your school of thoughts.
Because every mother is unique in a way but the goal is the same.
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