DISPLAY OF ANGER IS YAY, DISPLAY OF LOVE NAY?

In many Indian households, expression of anger and outbursts in front of the whole clan, neighbors, outsiders is a very common thing.  We all might have observed this.  Criticizing, ridiculing, passing sarcastic comments is alright.  Parents fighting like cats and dogs in front of their children, parents yelling and beating their kids in front of everyone in the name of discipline, daughter-in-law being humiliated in front of strangers, etc., is something which we Indians don’t mind at all.

But…how many times have we seen parents display affection or giving a peck to their spouse in front of their children?  Parents restrain themselves from appreciating their children in front of others out of the fear that they might become complacent and arrogant.  Daughters-in-law are criticized in abundance but appreciated well, almost quite negligible!  Grown-up sons or daughters doing something for their parents is considered to be their “duty” by the parents without a single word of appreciation from them.

Why are we so uptight about appreciating or showing our affection?  Parents fighting in front of children is okay but displaying affection is against culture??  People publicly thrashing and abusing each other is fine but a couple holding hands or hugging is vulgar?  Elderly people badmouthing the younger generation is okay but appreciating them is making them arrogant?

What holds us from appreciating or displaying affection while we don’t think twice before criticizing or fighting in front of everyone?  What’s the mental block here?  Our upbringing, culture, conditioning?

A single nice gesture or word of appreciation can do wonders and a single gesture or word of abuse or criticism can create a dent in the relationships.

Choose your actions wisely…

RITWIKA ROY MUTSUDDI

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