AT THE TOP OF THE HILL!
Yaaay! You’re forty years old or in your forties!
As you hit the milestone, parties and presents remind you that you now are at the top of the hill. Some women tend to feel embarrassed, some seem to be caught in this whirlpool of life and have no time to think, to others certain concerns pops up like promotions at work, future of your children, parents, finance, high school children, responsibilities and commitments.
You’re bombarded with commitments, demands, challenges and deadlines. You feel like you’re needed everywhere! It causes terrible stress in your mind taking the toll on your body. How do we handle life in such a state? Let’s take one thing at a time.
Do not procrastinate! That will pile you up with overwhelming tasks everyday and you’ll never be able to catch up, resulting in tension in relationships, internal stress and could take you towards a downward spiral both physically and mentally! If you think it, you ink it, be done with it. Do it now, not later! A disciplined routine is absolutely beneficial with room for detour as and when necessary.
- Personal finance – There’s a saying that ‘when you fail to plan, you plan to fail’. You’re responsible for your funds in your name. It’s not how much you make but how you multiply what you make. Prepare a family budget, plan your fixed expenses and variable expenses…like rent or mortgage, school fees, gas for your vehicle, loan repayments are fixed expenses while grocery, entertainment, cable TV, newspaper, magazines are variable which can be adjusted.
You also need to save for emergency expenses. Commit to continue to save in retirement funds, fixed deposits, CDs and anything else available to you. Every penny counts especially when the compound interest takes effect for an extended period of time. This is a must and foremost!! I hear you say, I don’t have anything left to save, sorry…save first and use the rest. What you don’t see it, you don’t miss! Do not compromise on this.
Increase your income or reduce waste. Anything & everything in your home is your currency sitting right in front of you without giving an interest, whether it’s your grocery, furniture or a decorative piece.
Buy what you need, not what you want! When in doubt, come back from the store and go after two days. Before you buy anything, take a moment if it has a place for it at home. Where will I put it? If you don’t, you’ll accumulate stuff and will realize only when you move out. Live a simple, with countable things at home, so your funds in the bank gives you lot more assurance. It’s not about being stingy but being smart with your funds.
- Loans – Pay off your credit card loans, auto loans and try to save at least 15% of your income. You want to be sure that you earn at least 60% of your current pay check in your retirement, even that might be tight with inflation. I hear you say, ‘thats long time away..’.Time flies fast..How did 40 years fly by? Your health and your wealth are in your hands. If you don’t do it, no one else will do it for you and the time is NOW, No Other Way.
If you have college going children, have them take a loan for their education, so they can pay off after graduation. That way they’re responsible young adults and learn to manage their own finance while you plan for your retirement. They have plenty of years ahead of them, not for you.
You feel guilty? Don’t! You need funds when you’re old and fragile, at that time, your children will have lot more responsibilities and priorities than ‘your’ health. Doesn’t mean they love you any less but deep intense love doesn’t pay bills. Let’s be honest and practical. You’ll grow old, that’s life! Plan ahead.
- Health – Money is important in life but health is much more important. When health is lost, everything is lost! How can you take care of your health? Age has nothing to do with our health. Old age does not cause problems but your lifestyle does. Both what goes on inside your mind and your lifestyle causes disturbance to your able body.
Research indicates that most of the health conditions start ten years earlier and many are lifestyle disorder, rather than diseases. When a body is not at ease, it’s dis+ease! At that point, you experience pain & suffering. Even though everyone loves you, unfortunately no one can take your pain from you. Avoid pain by stretching everyday. Watch your thoughts, stay positive.
Eat healthy, be disciplined as to what and when you eat, rest well at least six hours a day. Even if you work 12 hours/day, six hours sleep is a must. Nothing is more valuable than your own health.
Unless the canvas is strong, the paint will run through! Unless the foundation is strong, the entire building will crash! You’re that foundation, pillar for your family. Many people neglect their health for wealth and after fifties spend all their wealth to regain health! It won’t work!
If you think your shoulder hurts, leg hurts, back hurts and decide not to use those muscles, think again. If you rest you rust! Applies to anyone and everyone above forty. Exercise is an important aspect. If you drive to work, park at the end of the parking lot and walk to your office. Take the stairs, instead of elevators. Swim, run or walk at least twice a week for thirty minutes. Little by little take control of your body. Learn to listen to the body as well, rest when asked for, eat when hungry, drink when thirsty.
Keep your body, the transportation equipment, trim and in good working condition. This will take you a long way in fifties, sixties and beyond.
It’s never a question of whether you can do it all but whether you’re willing to do it. Your ‘I can’ attitude is more important than ‘Can I?’
- Appearance & career – a) How you appear makes a huge difference both in professional and personal environment. When you take good care of your health, dress well, develop soft skills, your self worth is high, you project confidence, thus escalating your positive cheerful attitude resulting in your professional growth with higher income & good relationships. People do business with people whom they know, like and who are friendly & presentable. Always dress well, you’ll be drawn to people at all times. That’s the reason you see uniforms in schools and military. They feel a sense of pride in those attire.
b) Constantly keep upgrading your skills to be more valuable in your line of work. Look for opportunities to grow in every aspect whether it’s technical, management, financial or spiritual. It’s easy to take it for granted and fall behind. For some, changing job every few years helps them grow exponentially. Wherever you’re in life, remember humility is important. This is one of the reasons relationships break in families. When you compare, feel superior, you become arrogant. Be aware of your thoughts & words!
There’s no ‘Know it all person’. The more you know, the more you realize how much you don’t know!
c) Effective communication is absolutely necessary. Join Toastmasters club to improve public speaking, time management, accepting & presenting constructive feedback, & building a team. These are prerequisites for a leader. Leaders are not born, they’re developed. You can always transfer the skills from profession to home and vice versa.
d) Develop a helicopter view. See the big picture. Visualize yourself 10-15 years from now. People often try to hold on to their positions due to insecurity. Mentally, develop a succession plan and act on it. Train your subordinates, make them feel important, only then you can go up the ladder and they can take your position. Prevent stagnation!
This is what mothers & fathers did years ago. They taught what they were experts in and children followed the same professions and expanded them. But today, their exposure is vast, they are aware of their choices, environment, expectations.
- Relationships – When your teenage children, work and family the friction between the couple escalates. It’s also called midlife crises. Both of you are trying to move up in your career. Your time with your partner is prime. You get caught up at work, taking up projects, getting promotion and recognition but your personal relationship with your spouse is much more than anything else on this planet.
Enjoy an open communication, go out on dates, take time off from work, celebrate the special days together.
In your forties, your parents are probably in their sixties. Allow them to bond with your children so they both enjoy special moments. This is the best part of their life to relax, enjoy and bond with grandchildren.
Next, your time with your children, who would soon be busy in high school with their studies and would move on to college. Make it a point to enjoy time with them, discuss their dreams & ambitions, encourage and inspire them. How you project yourself to your children, family is utmost important.
These will be minimized if you’re a frequent traveler on business. Money, power, position, authority cannot and will not facilitate, equate or replace relationships. Quality time, appreciation, gratefulness are the essentials. These relationships once lost are irreversible…Always choose to leave a memory as your legacy with every encounter in your life. Be a role model. Do not raise your voice, watch your language. They emulate you! They also very vividly remember how you interacted with them. Use positive language and do not complain about family members to them. Your relationship with your mother in law will be different from their relationship with their grandmother. Your negative experiences should not influence their relationships. Do not share family feud until they are in their thirties.
Life might throw unforeseen situations at you. Be mentally strong to face them. Nothing is temporary, enjoy what you have now.
Be grateful, thankful for what you have, and eliminate ‘could have, would have, should have’ from your dictionary. You can never go back and undo anything. The choice is yours!
March forward!! No Excuses! Live like a champion for the next few decades!
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Wonder Women World. If you wish to share your views you can reach us at [email protected] or reach out here CONTACT US