PREETI SAVUR, SUPERMOM

“Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says “Oh, no! She’s up.”― Joanne Clancy

“Make the most of today. To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade. To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train. To realize the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.  Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. Remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present! “

That is what I had to learn when my son was diagnosed with Autism 19 years ago and boy did I have to learn fast. Our life was forever changed in that single moment.

I went from being just a mom to a super mom….Autism pushed me and pulled me, drained me and fuelled me, beat me up and strengthened me, hurt me and helped me. It has been a part of my growth and who I am today.

Today when I look back at the doctors’ appointments, the diagnosis, the therapies, the IEPs, the sleepless nights, the meltdowns, the judgmental stares, the laughs, the tears, unkind words….I just smile and think that it was all well worth the time and sacrifice.

Here are some of the many life lessons autism has taught me so far. I wish to share these lessons with others who share this journey. …hell, life sure is a mean teacher…but she teaches well

Know that life isn’t always fair – Yes, life isn’t always fair. But we have no choice but to rise to the challenge.

Update those life plans – Raising a special-needs child certainly wasn’t part of my life plan. I had mapped out my entire life. I had mapped out my career ladder. I had mapped out our plan to have two children. I had mapped out my plans for them to work hard, be kind, set ambitious goals, achieve said goals and serve as examples for others.

I very quickly learned that life plans are meant to evolve. I may not be in the position at work I once dreamed of, but I couldn’t be happier with where I’ve landed. I’ve just had to adjust my expectations and definition of success in order to help my gifted daughter and my autistic son reach their individual fullest potential. My two children have very different but equally important needs from their mom, and I had to figure out how to be the best mom I could possibly be for both of my children.

Realize everything happens for a reason – Autism happened to my son for a reason. Autism happened to me for a reason.

After a few days of crying, feeling sorry for myself and isolating myself from the world, I snapped in. I had no other choice.

I needed to realize my purpose. And that was to help this amazing little boy accomplish everything the world says he can’t.

At the time of diagnosis, he had no voice. I had to be his voice. As soon as I had this epiphany, I made it my life’s mission to very quickly find out all of the answers to all of the questions and build a support team and a plan.

Know when to ask for help

When there’s a problem you simply can’t solve, you have to find the people who can help you solve it.

I’m so glad I learned this lesson early in our journey.

To me, asking for help was a sign of weakness. But I’ve learned, it’s the opposite.

We have assembled a support team of family, friends, teachers and autism professionals who have helped Ayush accomplish things quite honestly his biggest cheerleader….ME….. never thought he could accomplish.

This team of wonderful, amazing people has made all of the difference for our little boy. We still face struggles every day, but Ayush’s progress has been nothing short of a miracle and has exceeded all of my expectations.

But it took hard work and sacrifice by so many to get there.

Celebrate all of the small victories

The thing with autism I have found the most challenging is the great unknown.

Will he ever talk? Will he ever be able to go to a traditional school? Will he ever be able to make friends? Will he ever be able to go to college? Will he ever be able to live on his own? How will he manage once I am dead and gone….

When you are faced with big questions and uncertainty every day, you really learn to appreciate the little moments and the small victories. The truth is, you may not ever have the big victories you once dreamed of.

Love unconditionally, hope infinitely

I’ve always been a very patient person. But I had to become more patient. With autism, patience is crucial.

I’ve always been an optimistic person. But I had to become more optimistic. With autism, a positive outlook is essential.

I’ve always had a big heart …..nothing to do with my current size n shape….and lots of love to give. With autism, there’s no better therapy than unconditional love.

It’s easy to get tangled in the web of uncertainty. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and to sometimes shut down because of it.

But somehow, you have to keep fighting through the rough spots and never lose hope.

Autism can be a blessing

My son challenges me every single day to be a better mom, a better person.

He’s taught me to spot that teeny tiny ray of light in times of gloom. He’s taught me how to truly appreciate life’s little moments and simple joys. His smile can light up a room. His belly laugh is contagious. I love seeing the world through his eyes.

When life knocks me down again and again, my children are my inspiration to get back up.

Motherhood has been life’s greatest gift. And in a strange way, the autism journey has been ….an unexpected blessing.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Wonder Women World.