THE FUNNY BLURB, RASHMI BAL

Before I became a tree, sunk my roots and the trunk became wider I was a cloud. For roughly a little over half a decade from 1999-2006 winds blew me over fascinating places bringing along rain, brilliant with the hues of the rainbow. Here is my tale “The Funny Blurb” in no chronological order.

Violet Trains
Train travel is not new to me having practically lived out of trunks with my father’s postings from one station to another, I met my better half on the rail and he even works for the rail…but that’s digressing.

While travelling from Kiev to Budapest the train halted for roughly 5 hours at the border, one reason was immigration but the other totally stumped me. The erstwhile Soviet Bloc has a different gauge from all other non Soviet bloc countries. So it took that long to physically lift up each carriage and change the wheel set…now talk about making life difficult.

Once the wheels were changed we moved into Hungary and the immigration officer opened my passport, learnt I was Indian and having never seen one before ran out and collected all the other officers to showcase ME… I really knew then how animals must feel at the zoo!

Indigo Village
Not really a village, my roommate’s parents lived in Nicopol, a small town in Ukraine. One autumn we visited them….I didn’t know Indians were so revered there. The entire community had turned up to see me. One lady even asked to touch my skin she wanted to know how Indian skin felt. This is known as reverse racism and I loved it.

Blue Damascus
I had travelled from Sharjah to Damascus for a client presentation. Suited and booted I looked the pucca corporate type complete with laptop. I exit the airport and my eyes are searching for the sign board with my name on it. I am pleasantly surprised to see an Indian woman walking towards me. She reaches me and says “are you the maid who has come to work for me?” To this day the incident baffles me…thank god I didn’t pick up my laptop and hit her on the head.

Green Chocolat
That was the year when the movie ‘Chocolat’ was released. I watched it in a tiny theatre of a multiplex in Versailles. When I shifted to my host’s house in Paris I was delighted to find ‘Chocolat’ on her bookshelf, so carried it along. At the Louvre the Egyptian exhibit was closed for renovation much to my horror, I had hoped for it to be an extension of all the brilliant museums of Berlin. So I saw some of the key exhibits like ‘The Mona Lisa’, ‘The Rape of Venus’ and then sat on this humongous marble seat completed ‘Chocolat’ cover to cover. If looks could kill I would probably have been dead….what was this idiot doing in the Louvre reading a book!

Yellow High
I sailed from Odessa to Istanbul on the Black sea and I still can’t forget the gorgeous sight as we entered the Bosporus Strait, lush green imposing hills on either side…magnifique. Dusk had just set in, the minarets were being lit up and the Aazan came clear over the dark waters. My cabin mate was fixing herself the last drink before we disembarked; half a glass of coke with 3 teaspoons of Nescafe ughhhh…This had been her poison since we left Odessa…later I learnt it gives one a major high. Huh! Who would have thought two simple ingredients in the kitchen could make such a potent combination.

Orange Hotel
On the breath-taking journey from Barcelona to Rome all along the Mediterranean coast I met a girl Rose from Australia. While backpacking plans change in a heartbeat, so I accompanied her to Pisa. We sat at this road side café eating pizza, drinking house wine and gazing at The Leaning Tower. Goodbyes were said and I headed to Florence. It was pretty late at night when I landed. The youth hostel promised me a room the next evening so here I was minus any accommodation. Having no choice I had to check into a fancy hotel. Fancy by my standards…paying $50 when I usually spent $8-10 per night was trop cher. The hotel though lived up to its price; it was an antique building right out of Inside Outside. The rooms was huge, the bed ultra big and the bathroom was a cabinet with glass walls….seriously. Now I had to do paisey vasooly so out came all the laundry from the backpack which was lovingly washed in steaming hot water while all the time enjoying the tele right from the bathroom.

Red Mexican
When one travels, one ends up making many friends…one such individual was Octavio he was a handsome Mexican dude. The whole evening he kept staring at me and such stares are so welcome coming from a prime example of the human species. The evening was going well until I unhappily learnt that amongst the white skin and blonde hair he had missed seeing a dark person with black hair and thus pronounced me an honorary Mexican……where!! where is my sad emoticon.

I can keep rambling on but fortunately for you the rainbow has only 7 colours and I just noticed I had reached Red. Someday soon my rapid travel phase will begin again and then I’ll have new shades to add to my rainbow….till then adios amigos!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Wonder Women World.