LIFE IS NEVER DULL

Life is never dull! ‘Uncomfortable to comfortable to uncomfortable, only to feel comfortable again!’

You may think you’re done and feeling comfortable with life because your children are settled but no! Get ready to face a whole different scenario. Challenges this generation face is very different than until now. (Read my article on ‘ To seniors everywhere in The Wonder Woman World’).

Uncomfortability starts all over again but you’ll soon will feel comfortable!

The fact that you’re still alive is the sign that you have more things to do in this planet!  Age has nothing to do with what you want to do!  ‘Old but young’ age is from 65-79! Being in sixties is your free time to follow your dream.

Get uncomfortable with being comfortable and get out of old comfort zone!  Do what you want to do. Follow your passion! Avoid stagnation, running water is fresh and tasty than stagnant water!

1. Security- You’re retired, seems like there’s no purpose, all done, the show is over. What do I do now?  Sensing a feeling of boredom and insecurity?Being uncomfortable is in your thought!

There’s no security outside of you. It’s inside you. No amount of money, name, fame, power, position can give you security. The more you have, the more you’re agitated and experience sleepless nights.

Stephen Covey said, ‘Begin with the end in mind’, how true! First accept that we all have come to this planet with an expiry date, and we don’t know the exact date. That should not trigger fear in you. On the contrary, it should help you to plan an exit strategy. No one, no being can escape this phenomena.

Consolidate all assets and keep life simple. In today’s environment, your children have no time or energy to sell your lands, bonds, flats in different parts of the country or world. Some might want to have the home of their childhood. That’s okay, transfer the title to them. Do not hold it on your name. Your security is in you. By now, you should have planned to get a regular income. You can choose to live separately or with your children. Choose what’s right for you. In both situations, you’ll feel uncomfortable!

But sooner or later you’ll start feeling comfortable with this uncomfortable situation.

• Family Expansion –  Your children are married, their circle has expanded. They don’t spend much time with you as they used to! Uncomfortable?

Your children are adults. Try not to mess up their lives, even inadvertently. Being crude and rude to your daughter in law or son in law will eventually come back to you. Treat both your daughter & daughter in law the same. Reflect on what you say to your each of them and try transposing the same! How does it feel? Do not talk negative about anyone in their absence. Respect everyone as a divine being in human form, including your daughter in law! She has completely uprooted herself from her comfort zone to a new uncomfortable zone.

No one will be just like you. There’s no need for ‘two of you’ in the world!  There are no duplicates!  There is always a generation gap. Expect a difference, accept the difference and appreciate it. You are different from your mother in law and your mother.

Develop a beautiful relationship with your son in law’s and daughters in law’s families. The more people you know, the more you learn! You have new friends to share life’s experiences, have fun!

Remember, you’re the product of your choices. Life is an attitude. Observe your thoughts, think before you speak and act. Some things are irreversible! Words once spilt can never be taken back. Be kind, considerate, and caring. No one will remember what & how much you did or gave, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel!

You’re what you think! You see your own reflection outside. If you’re afraid, angry and worried that will display in your words and behavior. If you have negative thoughts within you, you’ll experience them as emotions, words and actions from others too.

Learn to see the goodness in everything & everyone. Goodness will come back to you…Certain people might ask you to prove it, but life is a Do-it-yourself program. You have to give it a try. If you’re hungry, no one else can eat for you. Whether you choose to live with children or separate, it’s going to be a challenge.

Choose to make any uncomfortable situation, comfortable!

3. Mind is your powerful tool –  First tell yourself, you’re not old. If you keep saying ‘I’m old’, your body will respond to it by saying, ‘yes, go, lie down!’. Get up and move. If you can’t, find out a reason and act on it. Keep moving those muscles, fingers and toes. You can avoid many health conditions by being active. Get out of the comfort zone to get uncomfortable!

Find your purpose! Remember you’re young, full of energy! Love yourself! You spent fifty years loving others, remind yourself that the world is not leaning on you. If you have a job and you enjoy it, even if you don’t need the funds, keep on working or else develop a hobby. Do it consistently with passion. If you don’t like the job, quit. Do something that you never thought you would, you could do. Running, biking, parachuting, acting, singing, teaching, tutoring, writing, publishing, swimming or go out and volunteer. Make a difference in others’ lives. Happiness is contagious!

If your parents in law, parents or spouse needs your support, be there for them. Try not to bring old memories that hinders this commitment, at this time. Learn to forgive and do your best. You’re given an opportunity to serve God in the form of another individual. Making the transitional process easier is an opportunity to serve, especially when someone is ill. Extend your support in every possible way.

Get comfortable with the uncomfortable situation and people!

4. Explore – Do the unimaginable!  Hike, bike, walk, participate in marathons, write, explore every avenue. Read what you enjoy, make new friends, discuss, guide, listen actively for different perspectives of life. Learning never stops! Animals just eat, sleep & hangout, not humans. People who do, eventually get bored with life leading to depression and a longing to interact with people. No one can entertain you but yourself!

Have a meaningful purpose in life. Volunteer in places of interest, it could be schools, with tiny tots, senior centers, juvenile centers or convalescent homes. Travel around your country, around the globe. Go with your partner or if you’re single, go in groups. Make new friends. Share and learn from others’ experiences. Learn technology, read magazines, know what’s going on around the world. Life is field of learning, that never stops. Remind yourself that as long as you’re learning, you’re green and growing. The moment you stop learning, you’re brown & dead!

Everything is uncomfortable before they’re comfortable! Dont quit! Quitters never win, winners never quit!

5. Be grateful- The more people you interact with, you come to realize how blessed you’re. You’ll notice that your blessings always outweigh the missing! Each organ in your body in functioning efficiently since you came to this planet, in spite of eating truck loads of food by the time you’re this age.

Try not to argue or bargain with taxi drivers, veggie vendors, domestic help and less fortunates. Be generous with them with what you have!

You inherited wonderful parents, family & friends. If you still think, you didn’t, consciously replace your thoughts with positive thoughts. How you respond to what happens to you, makes you strong or weak.

In life, you have the power to take charge of things that you can change, and accept those that you can do nothing about it. That’s wisdom! Feel comfortable with the uncomfortable!

If you have grandchildren, enjoy those special moments. It’s a different experience with a grandchild than your own children. You have the leisure time to play and see them grow from infants to individuals. There’s a lot more to learn from tiny tots! It’s often said, ‘Be like a child’. They live in the present until they’re taught.

Enjoy by attending concerts, plays, go on vacation. Plethora of spiritual talks are available to listen via youtubes, or participate in satsang (group discussion). Spirituality, if you’re drawn to it gives you inner strength to handle realities of life to experience inner peace.

Get uncomfortable by interacting and seeing the world from others point of view. The world is a beautiful place and eventually every uncomfortable become comfortable!

Once you’re comfortable, it’s time to explore the uncomfortable zone to expand your horizon. The periphery keeps expanding to see how far you can go!

Seventies, eighties and nineties…here I come! I wonder what’s in stock for me? You think you can knock me down by uncomfortable situations? Think again, I’m like a little frog, comfortable on both land and water!! I’m like a chameleon, make myself comfortable with any background!

VIJAYA JAYARAMAN

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Wonder Women World. If you wish to write /contribute you can reach us at [email protected] or here-> CONTACT US